Twin Flame Series: Part 3: “What To Do In The Separation” by Dyan Garris
Part of the twin flame journey includes what is called “separation.” However, “separation” is a misnomer, because you and your “person” are never really separated. Unlike soul mates who are two separate souls, like two eggs, you and your twin flame are one soul. You can’t be separated. It just appears so in this illusion we find ourselves in. And you can try to physically, permanently separate, walk away and forget all about this person, but it won’t work. This “running” actually makes the inescapable longing to be together even more pronounced.
That said, there is much to understand about the separation. This is actually a series of separations, some small and short, and some longer, sometimes very long. The short separations usually occur in the very beginning of the journey and these separations occur because you are both triggering each other. That triggering is part of this journey, and it is necessary to have that time and space in the separations in order to get to the very root of where you both need to heal. Separately. This is so you can return to each other as a whole person.
It is not about hurting each other. It certainly may feel that way. But that is an illusion. Try to see through that illusion. This is a healing journey. And even though it’s about love of the highest form, the twin flame journey is not a particularly easy journey for anyone to understand or go through. The true twin flame dynamic is still relatively rare. But it is very real. These kinds of connections are being brought through more frequently now here due to the stark and disparate energetic imbalance that has occurred between the male and female polarities.
The longer separations between twin flames can seem excruciating, because you long for your twin, sometimes obsessively, no matter what your respective earthly situations, or how much Earth time has or has not gone by, and you can still each feel each other’s energy even in the “void.” And at the times you can’t, it’s easy to panic and start obsessing. “Where is so and so? What are they doing and with whom? Did they abandon me?” Don’t torture yourself. They are still there. Again, remember, you are never apart, and you can’t truly ever separate.
Obsessing does no good. It’s a waste of energy. That person is not going anywhere even if they think they want to or try to do so. You are not going anywhere either, even if you try to run. Run, chase, chase, run. . .that dynamic is part of this journey until you fully figure out what’s really going on here and just lean into it.
There’s a reason for things like ”unweighting” while skiing, as you lean into the mogul or the mountain, and steering into the skid and taking your foot off the brake while hitting a patch of ice while driving. Go WITH instead of fighting the current. Relax into whatever it is. And so, stop obsessing. Anything you resist – especially this – is going to persist.
So, what are you supposed to do with these periods of separation? How do you elevate this up? It’s important to understand that the separation has its good purpose, and it isn’t about manipulating your person into doing what you want them to do, or begging, pleading, or supplicating the powers that be for their return. These separations are gifts. Yes, really. One important thing to do in this energy is to let go and let God. Stop trying to control this thing. You can’t. It is what it is.
There is great power in acceptance. There is great power in surrender. There is great power in being willing to engage in this experience instead of running from it like a scared rabbit. Use your intellect. Tune into your innate intuition. It won’t steer you wrong. Gather your courage around you like a warm cloak. And just do it – this journey – no matter what it looks like to you or to anyone else. For example, if you’re person is not “suitable,” don’t try to make them so. Don’t try to hold them accountable for anything they cannot change, like their age. That does no good. If they are different from what you think you want, different from your usual type, different in some other big way, like age, race, gender, whatever. . . just let go of that idea. Let completely go of that notion. You can’t change whatever it is that just is. They can’t either. This is your “person.” And you are theirs. Deal. And that “deal” was made well before you both arrived here.
The Divine knows what’s highest and best. Your soul knows what’s highest and best, and all will go according to the divine plan if you move your ego out of the way and let this unfold. Again, this is your person. Try to accept that no matter what anything looks like. And realize that no one else is going to truly understand. It’s only important that YOU understand. Trust. It’s a big word. And sometimes it’s a tall order. But trust you must.
So, one huge thing to do in “separation” is to trust in something bigger than yourself. In a lot of ways, this is a test of faith; faith in this connection, faith in your own intuition, faith in a higher power, faith in love. Lost that? Love is real. This twin flame journey is a good opportunity for you to connect back to the love that you are. Why have you separated yourself?
Have faith that what you feel is real, and you are not making it up, no matter how “crazy” it may seem. It’s not. The connection is real. The telepathic communication is real. What you feel is real. The dreams (visitations) are real. The sexual, off the rails, chemistry beyond anything you can explain is real. The kundalini rising is real. The tears are real. The eternal love is real. It’s all real. And, keep in mind, if it helps you assimilate a little better, that twin flames do not necessarily end up together in this particular physical reality either. This journey is more about healing, and healing in a way that no one else on this planet can help you do. No one. This journey is a great gift of love. True love. Why not allow that? This is a sacred connection. Honor that.
Another constructive use of the separation periods, especially the long ones – and we may hear this all the time, but it’s true – is to work on yourself, love yourself, become the best you you can be. It may seem trite to say so. It may seem narcissistic to do so. But necessary it is.
Here is how we do that: Delve deeply, and I do mean deeply, into the places your twin has triggered you. Stop blaming them for anything. They weren’t trying to hurt you. They were coming from their own pain and patterns and mirroring it back to you. Examine and re-examine the generational and ancestral patterns, the “wounding.” Get to and examine the core wound. Don’t want to go there? Not many do. But if you’ve met your twin flame, that is where you’re “required” to go. This is an accelerated healing program and it’s one that trumps all other programming. You signed up for it. It’s designed to help you grow as a person and a soul. So, do it. Ultimately, there isn’t an effective way to run away or hide from it.
Where do you have any kind of abandonment issue, if any, and why is it there? Where have you compromised yourself in your life, lost your voice, perhaps settled or sold out, given up on yourself or your dreams, and why? Where are you co-dependent? Why? Is your life a business deal?
Where have you been willing to go almost automatically into “victim” mode? Repeatedly, perhaps. Where and how many times have you been willing to play the “blame game?” You can’t do any of that with this person for very long. The whole experience is designed to get you out of those patterns. Exactly what are your patterns, and exactly what do they do for you?
Then, forgive your twin. Forgive yourself. Note that this person cannot complete you. It is your task to be accountable to yourself. Hello! It’s a lesson in love. Surrender is not weakness. Here, it is strength. Love is not loss of control. Here, it’s alignment, union, and real power. Don’t abuse it.
Where is your inner masculine and inner feminine unbalanced? There’s a reason they call it “Divine Masculine” and “Divine Feminine” regarding this journey. It’s not about blasphemy or making oneself into a “god” or “goddess.” It’s about something much more than that. Come into your power. Step into this journey of healing and love. Raise up this vibration by coming into union, not just physically, sexually, but as a whole person. As you heal yourself, you heal your twin, and you also heal your ancestors AND descendants. That is huge, isn’t it?
Now, this is a big one too. And don’t get offended. Here’s the truth. Certain patterns are more masculine or feminine. In brief, for example, “victimy” is more “feminine.” “Control” is more “masculine.” And there are many more examples of such. Think about it. There’s a reason all languages have “masculine” and “feminine” nouns. Think. Ponder. Examine. Use this “separation” time to move forward and to grow. You are not moving away from your person. You are moving toward each other in the illusion of separation.
Ask yourself what is your automatic pattern and programming when confronted with challenges? Examine your internal male/female balance or lack thereof. Where have you separated yourself from your “self?” When did that happen? Where was the “break?” Where and when was the point of trauma in your life? Then use this “separation” time to come into balance of yin and yang, instead of falling into some deeply ingrained automatic negative biofeedback loop where you subconsciously create a point of trauma over and over again. I can guarantee that you will be presented with a set, or several sets, of experiences where you will have opportunity to do just that on this journey. Trauma repeats until you meet it with love. Love repeats, always. Repeatedly.
As well, in the separation, work on your physical body. Work on your emotional body, your chakras. Meditate. Cogitate. Teach. Learn. Listen. Work on your work stuff. Clear out what needs to go, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Get your house in order, spiritually and otherwise. Get yourself in order. And most importantly, move forward. You’re not moving “away” from this person. You are moving toward yourself and therefore closer to union. It’s ostensibly “Groundhog Day” until you figure it out. Bingo. Do you get it?
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